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Facts
| The Person/Institution | Little known facts about said person. |
| Empress Tay-Tay | Empress Tay-Tay doesn't actually write Fan Fiction, the words assemble themselves out of fear. M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Empress Tay-Tay can touch this. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Empress Tay-Tay has 72... and they're all poisonous. The saddest moment for children is not when they learn Santa Claus isn't real, it's when they learn Empress Tay-Tay is. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Empress Tay-Tay's PC will crash. |
| Kitty Kat | Google won't search for Kitty Kat because it knows you don't find Kitty Kat, she finds you. Kitty Kat leads an army of every cat ever; all out to kill, seeking blood. All cats even your precious baby fluffy. 182,000 Americans die from Kitty Kat-related "accidents" every year. Kitty Kat can slam revolving doors. Kitty Kat built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to her door. |
| Fire | Fire doesn't bowl strikes, she just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint. Fire doesn't believe in ravioli. She stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood. Fire drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Fire in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off. |
| Light | Light was once charged with attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Light does not "attempt" murder. Light has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in 50 states, Patricio, and Bermuda. Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Light while he was on a mission, he protected his identity. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Light pajamas. One time, at band camp, Light ate a percussionist. |
| Dani | When Dani goes to out to eat, she orders a whole chicken, but she only eats its soul. Dani's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Dani. Dani and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building. Dani qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car. Dani can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. |
| Vicky | Vicky make onions Cry. Vicky's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Vicky will not take shit from anyone. Vicky cannot love, she can only not kill. When Vicky was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Vicky. Never. For every person Mother Nature kills, Vicky kills three, and leaves two soulless shells. |
| Bri | If you spell Bri wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Bri?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have a chance... however insignificant." Bri doesn't have a bank account. She just tells the bank how much she needs. Bri's tears cure cancer. Too bad she has never cried. Ever. Bri can speak braille. There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Bri has breathed on. |
| D.O.O.M.D. | Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in a kindergarten class with a DOOMD member. The only time DOOMD was wrong was when it thought it had made a mistake. DOOMD once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from its autobiography. The word 'Kill' was invented by DOOMD. Other words were 'Die', 'Fear', and 'Torture,' and the phrase 'Are ya felling luck puke?'. The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with DOOMD. Everyone in DOOMD died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell them. DOOMD actually built the stairway to heaven. Just to make sure that everyone knew that their was no place to hide. Crop circles are DOOMD's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down. If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear? Yes. DOOMD hears it. DOOMD can hear everything. DOOMD can hear the shrieking terror in your soul. DOOMD has its own line at the DMV. To bad none of us can drive. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures DOOMD allows to live. DOOMD crossed the road. No one has ever dared question its motives. Guns don't kill people. DOOMD kills People. Love does not hurt. DOOMD does. Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from DOOMD. Not to be outdone, DOOMD invented the car accident. When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that he is going to ask DOOMD for help. (We gave him a car.) DOOMD CAN believe it's not butter. DOOMD's credit cards have no limit. The reason for this is that the last credit card company to send DOOMD a bill suddenly went bankrupted. All the CEOs died in unexplained, and horrifically painful, 'accidents.' And the workers all either A) went broke B) lost everything they ever cared about or C) fled to some country in South America. |
Presto7794 |
Latest page update: made by Presto7794
, Jan 29 2009, 6:53 PM EST
(about this update
About This Update
Edited by Presto7794
66 words added 2 words deleted view changes - complete history) |
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